In My Place

2006-03-11

A Lovely Day

I took a drive with Z and my Grandmother to our house in the country today! It was such a beautiful day! It was warm and the sun was shining and we just wanted to take a day trip. Once I got there though..I wanted to stay. I love it there. It's back in the woods and there aren't very many houses around.
You have to take a gravel road to the house and open the gate that we keeped locked up. We can't go up there in the winter time because it's always snowy and it's just too hard to get up the gravel road. I grew up here during the summers. We always went up there on the weekends and my Grandmother and I would stay during the week and my Grandfather would come up on the weekends once I got out of school for the year! I always loved it up there! It's so peaceful. I would sit out in the hammock on the back porch and read for hours or play in the yard. I always dreamed of living up there when I was older. I would live up there now if I could..but I just don't have that as a choice at the moment.
We hung out at the house for a few hours and then went off the mountain to the little town and drove around for a bit. Then we had dinner and I drove home. It was a nice way to spend my day!
I do get a little sad when I am up there. I remember all the wonderful times I had growing up there. I instantly think of all the fun when my Grandfather was still alive. I miss him so much when I am up there. He had grown up in the little town near by. Most of his brothers, sister and mother are buried there. We used to take trips out to the cemetary when we went up there and left flowers on their graves. We don't go there much since my Grandfather past. I think it's too hard on my Grandmother to go there. My Grandfather isn't buried there because we wanted him closer to where we lived so that we could visit him often.
The thing is..this week was the first time we have gone to his grave in about 6 months. It's still just too hard. Even though it's been over 5 years it doesn't seem to get easier to go there. I feel bad every time I drive by the cemetary..but most of the time I just can't drive into the cememtary. I get an awful feeling when I do and become so depressed when I see his actual grave stone. I just hope he understands why we don't visit often. It's just too hard.
I know that might sound weird... most people are probably saying..he's dead.. he doesn't care whether you go there or not..but I feel like he would be upset over it..
I don't want to end this on a sad note though..it was just to lovely of a day.
I bought 2 cd's yesterday..Matisy@hu and Tears for Fears latest album.. both are pretty good.
I also bought a bunch of scapbooking stuff because I am trying to create my own guestbook for my wedding reception. I saw this wonderful book at a website and I thought I would love to have one like it but when I filled out all the options and then got the price..my jaw hit the floor. It was over $80. For a guestbook. NO WAY would I pay that price.. so I am going to try and make it on my own..
I haven't done much lately when it comes to the wedding..it's still a while away and I guess I feel like I have plenty of time to do what's needed. The only big decisions I have to make within the next few weeks are the bridesmaids dresses and my own dress. I know what I want..I just have to find it. Sounds easy but it's hasn't been so far..I just can't find THE ONE. I do know where I will be buying the dress though.. and that helps because they will help me get the exact dress that I want! Lovely people!
Well..I hope that everyone else had as lovely a day as I did!
~Rachel
|