In My Place
2005-04-27
Memories...
I'm feeling a little lonely tonight. Z is already asleep and Alex went out with the boys tonight. I hope that D will call me tonight, but I doubt that he will with being so busy moving to the windy city and all. I miss hearing his voice. It seems like forever since I last heard his laugh. It's an infectious laugh and it makes me smile from ear to ear. I love that kind of laugh! I called him last night because his number was listed as a missed call on my cell phone..but I was at a restaurant when I called him back and all I wanted to do is hear his voice and tell him I will talk to him later. He said he would call me back some other time..I was a little upset at that then I realized. This guy is packing up and moving to a new city. He is probably a little busy.I found a couple of my old diaries from when I was younger. I love reading them and thinking about all the funny things that were important to me at the time. One of the diaries was from before I met Alex up until I met him and the other was from the moment I started liking him up until our first anniversary. I haven't really kept a paper diary since then. First, because I have this one and secondly..I was always scared he would read it. I no longer have the fear of him reading it because I've had all my older diaries here and he's never read it. He knows about this diary and has never read it. If he did there would of course been many a fight about things I have said about him. So with that I have decided to resume the paper diary as well as this one. I'm pretty open writing in this diary, but I want to also put in my own handwriting what I am feeling. I got this really cute diary a few weeks ago..because I have an addiction of buying them..I have at least 6 unused ones. I will get to them all eventually!
My Mom was visiting on Monday to go through the stuff that still remains in her storage space. She is moving her remaining things into my storage space and paying half the cost. Works for me since I was only using half the space. It's so sad how much shit we truly have. So apparently Alex was correct, I'm a packrat. I've been working on that and have rid myself of a lot of junk. I will never get rid of things that hold special memories though and that is the main problem..everything seems to hold a special memory. It doesn't help that my Mom gave me a bunch of her stuff while here either. I won't complain though..She gave me her entire record collection folks! I'm in heaven..it's all the music I listened to growing up. I almost cried. There is a reason that I love music..it was always played in the house while I was growing up..at my grandparents I listened to classical..at my Mom's though is where I fell in love with music though. James Tayl0r, Carly Sim0n, Car0l King, Ray Ch@rles, Stevie W0nder, Luther Vandr0ss, The Beatles, The St0nes, Fleetw00d Mac, and the list could go on and on. One problem..my record player..broke years ago and I'm pretty sure since I haven't seen it in about 13 years that it's no longer available for use..I asked Alex to please consider buying me one for my birthday. How awesome would that be? I would play music all night long and probably cry at the comfort that it will make me feel! Hell I even found my old Sesame Street Album..and all my books on record. My son still doesn't understand the concept of Vinyl..he asked if we could play them in the cd player. That was so sad to me. I miss the good old days..I miss the old cartoons, the old tv shows, the music..don't miss the hairstyles or clothes..got to look at a few pictures from back then as well..not some of my better moments. I almost felt like burning the pics, but we all have those horrible pictures of our youth. Why hide it? I never really did the whole tease your hair to the sky thing. For that I am extremely happy!
My mom also gave me a wine rack, magazine rack, a beautiful plate rack (that I have always wanted) and the ceramic christmas tree that my Grandmother made when I was just a toddler..memories.. I now have to Spring clean and get rid of some things. I hate a cluttered house and mine is quickly going in that direction.
I want to play my records so bad..I only know one person who still has a record player that works..my grandmother has one it just needs a new needle..but my friend Marty loves her vinyl..so I can always pack my records up and spend the day at her house listening to music. I kind of want to be alone while I am reminiscing though. So nix that plan.
My birthday is 14 days a way folks.. scary..the big 3-0 is fast approaching. I don't feel 27 though and thankfully I don't look it..so I'm not really depressed all that much. Alex's brother didn't even believe me when I told him I was 27..oh I love him!! It was nice to hear!
Well..I'm sleepy..Have a wonderful Thursday!
~Rachel |
