In My Place

2003-11-16

Scott's in town..

Z is out with his father (scott) right now..he came in from Virginia today because his stepmother has to have open heart surgery tomorrow..The navy wants him back by next Sunday..so hopefully Scott can spend a little time with Z before he has to go back.

Scott and Z are at the movies right now..and when they get back I am going to go with Scott and talk for a little bit. I just want to talk to him and see how life is treating him. I want to know a little about what is going on in his life.

Alex and I haven't really been getting along to well all day today. I just don't know what to do anymore..I'm really just at the point where it wouldn't matter what he did..it's basically over..I just can't throw him out on the street..so I'm stuck with not knowing what to do.

D was supposed to call me last night..but I'm guessing he fell asleep or something before he got the chance to call me..because I waited til 4:30am and then I just had to sleep..I called him today about 3:00 and he wasn't home..so I just left a message on his answering machine and asked for him to call me..but so far he hasn't called me.. he probably had to work today..I'm not sure..

I went on a drive today with Alicia..we both needed to get out of our houses and it gave us a chance to catch up with eachother since we haven't spent much time together since she got married. We talked a lot about D and a lot about how unhappy I am with Alex..it was great to be able to talk to someone about all of what is going on in my life..and have someone understand what I was feeling and why. She knows I'm unhappy and she understands why..and for me I needed someone to talk to that would give me good advice..and just listen to what I had to say..

Alex and I haven't even said a word to eachother in the last hour..and frankly I'm happy about that..it means we aren't arguing and I'm not crying..

Well I have to go get some things done before Scott gets back here to pick me up..I hope that I will be able to talk to D tonight..I miss him and I need to talk to him...

~Rachel