In My Place

2003-06-16

I have a Plan!!!

I keep trying of ways to lose this weight..I was working out 3 days a week at the YWCA but I haven't been there in a few weeks. I always get into a slump. I lost 10 pounds when I first started working out. Then got discouraged when I gained it back after being out of the gym. So basically I have to start over again. I have no will power. That is my whole problem. I will do so good for a month or two then just go back to the way I was. That is what happened after the last big diet. I tried the Physician weight loss center, which cost me $500.00 plus the food. I am so pissed at myself for quiting that one. If I would have stuck with it I would already be at my goal weight. So here it is 2 years later and I gained the 30 pounds I lost then back and then some. It's damn depressing just thinking about it.

I think my weight has to do with not getting job interviews. I know people say they don't discriminate but that's bullshit. When you have a choice between me and some hot chick that walks in for an interview, I know who the guy is going to pick. I hate those stupid rejection letters they send out too. The last one I got was for the job that I was sure I would get. The letter said," I enjoyed meeting and talking with you. However at this time the positions have been filled. We keep resumes on file for 6 months. Thanks for applying." Who the hell are they kidding. These people didn't even check my references. If they were not going to hire me. I wish they would have told me that at my interview, instead of telling me all about the rest of the hiring practice and about how they really thought that I would fit in. Why did they get my hopes up. I didn't look for any more jobs after that interview because I figured they were going to hire me. I think the thing that really pisses me off is how much I told them I really needed this job. I am so glad that a business that works to help those in need doesn't care to hire someone that is in need of a job.

Back to what I was talking about though. I have a serious weight problem and I can't take it anymore. No matter how many times Alex tells me I am beautiful and that I am not that overweight. I know the truth. I know I am NOT happy when I look in the mirror. Hell it is hard for me to even look in the mirror. So I have decided that I am going to try the Atkin's Diet. I have looked at articles online about it and stories of people who have lost so much weight using it. So I figure why not try it. I don't have to pay anything to do this diet, I just have to stick to a strict plan. Which I can do. The Atkins diet looks like it might be my answer to this weight issue. Now I just have to write out my plan and the foods I need to eat and what I can't eat and stick to it. I am also trying to find some people who will do the diet with me. Alex doesn't want to so he's out. I wish he would do the diet with me, I think it would be easier if he would. So I have found there is a few message boards online and I will just join and post there and hopefully find someone that maybe I can connect with and kinda be a diet buddy with. I find that if you have support it is a lot easier than trying to do this on your own!

I will be gone for the next few days. I have to take my Grandmother up to her Summer house and I want to stay a few days to kind of get my mind of certain things and relax and spend the time really planning out what my goals are with this diet. I know I may be going a little overboard with the planning of the diet plan, but I really want this to work for me!

Hope that everyone has had a lovely weekend and Hope you all have a wonderful few days while I am gone!

Much Love,

Rachel