In My Place

2003-06-04

I know you missed me!

Yes I know you have all missed my ever charming entries for the past two days. Sorry about that but I had to go pick up my grandmother from her summer house and bring her back in town. Plus my Mother came up to the Summer house and took Z back to Virginia with her! yay. I get a little vacation. Sad thing is I have missed Z so much and he has only been gone one day! I keep thinking he will run in my bedroom asking for a snack or an apple..he is a snack a holic! I miss hearing his cute little devilish laugh!! It's weird that you get so used to having someone around and sometimes you get so annoyed with this person that you want to scream and yank all your hair out. Then when they aren't around you feel miserable without them. I have just felt weird all day without him being around. When he starts kindergarten in the fall I am going to be a mess. I don't want to turn into one of those Mom's that hangs out at the school all day trying to help out doing whatever they can. I hated that when I was younger. Why were these Mother's there and not mine. Weird what things you remember from when you were younger. I think I will probably be one of the youngest Mom's there too which really sucks I don't want to be the youngest one. There are going to be all these older ladies in the PTA and then there's me who likes like she is one of the kids. I seriously get people who say to me that I look 12. Now I think I could pass for 18 maybe 17 but no way would I ever pass for 12. I just don't see that but hey when I am 40 I guess I will appreciate looking so young.

But on with the last two days...

My Grandmother is so emotional. She looks like estelle getty..but when she talks it always sounds like she is yelling..her laugh is killer..half the time her laugh is what makes me burst out laughing!! She is cute though she is only 4'11. I'm 5'8 so it's funny when she gets mad at me and starts yelling at me and pointing and here I am towering over her and most of the time biting my lip so that I don't start laughing. I just can't take her serious when she yells at me. How could I? Don't get me wrong I love my Grandmother but you have to understand she isn't like my Grandmother..she raised me so I really consider her my Mom. So we have that Mother/daughter Love/hate relationship thing going for us! We started having this conversation the other day about death and I started crying immediatly. Whenever I think about not having her it just rips me up inside. Once she is gone I will have no one in my family left. I mean I will have Z and Alex..but I mean the family will probably not see eachother or contact eachother. We only do all that because of her and once she is gone I just don't see that happening. Ok I am now teary eyed so I can't talk about this anymore. Maybe I can write more about it tomorrow..

Have a wonderful day...

~R~