In My Place

2003-05-04

Where is my damn AUNT FLO??

I know you all thought I forgot about you didn't you...nope I didn't just been really busy. Although today I got to relax a bit which was great!

I have been feeling kind of strange all day. I still have yet to start my period and it's been like 2 months. I think it may have something to do with my working out. I know I am not pregnant. Ok I hope I'm not pregnant. Alex doesn't want kids. I do but I know I can barely handle having Z. I know I couldn't take it having another little one. I definatly don't have the money. Did I mention the fact that Alex doesn't want kids?

Now that little fact has been the start of many an argument in this household. I know I have a child and he is a big responsibility. But later on I want another one. I want a little girl! It sucks because Alex just laughs when I mention having children because he knows that it's not going to happen.

Alex has this big fear that if we ever had a kid it would be totally screwed in the head. Not because of me but because of him. I don't understand this at all. Noone is perfect but Alex isn't some kind of mental case. He also thinks that a baby would come out all screwed up because of his past drug use. I try and tell him that is crazy. Now I could see that happening if I was smoking crack while pregnant, but I would never do that. Hell I hate the smell of pot and unless it's a migraine I won't take an advil for my headache...I am so not the addicted type of person.

But let's not start thinking about being pregnant because I am about 98% sure that I am not pregnant.

God talking about it makes me feel worse. I feel like shit right now anyway. I think I have an ear infection.

On another note...I got a huge ass doctors bill today. In March I went to the emergency room thinking something was wrong with my heart. Well I got 2 bills one for $426.00 and one for $399.00 now to me this is fucking outrageous. Especially since I have no damn health insurance. So if I wind up having to pay it, I am only giving them like $5.00 a month. I just think that the medical system is getting out of hand. It's not like I had a shitload of x-rays or anything. I could understand it being that much if I had..but I didn't. So on Monday I will be calling them to find out what the hell is going on with these damn bills...

Hope everyone had a good day and an even more wonderful tomorrow...

~R~