In My Place

2003-02-04

grandma's birthday and methadone junkies

Well it was my grandmother's birthday today!! woo hoo..Happy birthday to her!

It was a boring day really..woke up and had to take alex to the clinic just like every mon-wed!! What fun! It is though really! I mean where else can I see hordes of rednecks pleading for their meds? These people will even come up to you and ask for the $12.50 that it costs for methadone. Like it isn't enough that I have to pay for Alex's dose so that he doesn't get sick...these retards think I am gonna hand them money to pay for them to feel better. GET A JOB....quit sitting on your ass in your trailor living off of welfare and still doing oc's (you know the hillbilly heroin) and thinking that someone else is responsible to help you!

You know what's funny I just looked up Methadone in the dictionary and this is what it says:

a synthetic addictive narcotic drug C21H27NO used especially in the form of its hydrochloride for the relief of pain and as a substitute narcotic in the treatment of heroin addiction

ok well they don't really explain that in all the papers that they give you. Yes it is used for people trying get off of heroin but alot of people take it because they want to get off of oc's or other prescription drugs that some hillbilly doctor prescribed to them so often that they got addicted and couldn't live without them! That is what happened to Alex after his car wreck. His doctor decided to give him a big prescription of OC's (oxy contin for those of you who don't know) so after a month he was addicted. This is not a cheap drug to get a hold of. Sometimes the pills can cost $80 a piece around where we live. Anyway to make a long story short, he was on them for about six months and decided to get clean so he went on Methadone. What the people at the clinic don't tell the patients is that methadone is even more addictive than OC's and it is even harder to get off of methadone. Alex is learning all this now because he is trying to get off of methadone. He will go down just a millagram and week and be in pain...a milligram! That is horrible!

Anyway, wow I really went off on a tangent there!

Back To my day. I went back to my grandfather's grave today to finish putting the flowers together on his grave, I even added a special something for him for Valentine's day. I was just so proud of the fact that I didn't cry. This is a first, I always cry when I go there!

Then I took my grandmother her birthday presents and talked to my aunt and uncle who had come in from Virginia. I was so glad that Alex went with me! They have only met him once, but they were so nice to him. I couldn't believe it! It was awesome to actually see my family like one of the guys I am dating. I mean I am marrying Alex someday and I guess I want their approval! That is so horrible though, I shouldn't want their approval, but I think everyone really wants approval especially from family! Now from other people I could really care less and in that my dad is included. I definatly couldn't care less what he ever thinks about me and my life. But I digress...

~R~

We write to taste life twice,in the moment and in retrospection.

~anais nin