In My Place
2002-09-15
kennys death and Skanky ex's
Well I guess its been a while,well a few days since i last wrote, but i have just been in this mood lately. I can't quite explain it...My grandmother called tonight (at her usual time)and she always for some reason has bad news to tell me. Though I didn't expect what she told me tonight. My cousin Kenny had killed himself Thursday. WHY? WHY? I asked her,and she says it was over SOME GIRL...SOME GIRL?...my GOD what in the world could have been so bad that you kill yourself over a girl??? Noone is worth that! But I don't know what it's like to be at that point where you feel that you just can't take it anymore. I feel for his family...it makes me sad to know that this is what he thought would make it better...I just can't even fathom doing this to my family. Afterall,it is a cowardly thing to do. The people left behind are the ones who suffer. Other than that this weekend has been pretty normal..Alex's brother Gary spent the night on Friday...we had fun hanging out and talking! I was glad he came over, it took my mind off of things. Alex and I are trying to plan a trip and go to like Kings Island or something! woo hoo! I have been thinking lately of my late grandfather I can't believe he has been gone for almost 2 years...I miss him soooo much! He was so special to me and I was his little girl and I miss that I miss having a Father..cause the Father I have is a total ass! Who leaves there child with their own parents for them to raise and then get angry cause I dont want to have anything to do with him?? I dont get that....alex has already said he can't come to our wedding which is sad because alex doesn't want my mom to come either...oh well,no parents at my wedding how interesting! I called Scott today(zack's dad) he of course was an ass..i just wanted to know why he thought he could call up and say "I'm gonna get zack on monday"..well no your not..your days are on the weekends and you don't come to get him on the days you are supposed to see him..you don't pay child support and you never call...so you can't tell me what YOU are gonna do!! Then I find out from someone that he has been hanging out with the skanky bitch joanna that I caught half naked in my house...I mean he obviously has time to hang out with that bitch but not his own child, who my boyfriend is now helping me raise... AHHHHH i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs "WHY IN THE HELL DID I EVER SLEEP WITH YOU?"**oh on the sex note I found out some interesting info from my boyfriend the other day. We were discussing the hypothetical question.."what would happen if I got pregnant?" He was like I would leave if you kept it and I couldn't believe it. He was just like, "I'm not ready to be a father and I don't really want kids because it would kill me if something happened to the child." Well then I was like well what did you say to brandy (Alex's psycho ex..his words! lol)when she thought she was pregnant? he was like what? and started laughing and I said well when you were in the hospital after your car wreck we were smoking a cig outside and somehow we ended up talking about something. She said she thought she was pregnant when she was with you..and oh my gosh Alex started laughing SO DAMN loud and I said "what" and he was like,"only if she thinks you can get pregnant sucking dick,because I never slept with her". My jaw dropped I couldn't believe the BITCH lied to my face! I was like who does that kind of shit? I mean who tells that kind of lie to another person,was she trying to make me jealous? I mean puh-lease! Thats ok I have moved on. I refuse to waste my time on her. The girl is psycho anyway,I sware I have had to report her to AOheLl already because I have had my webpage messed up just one too many times. She must think I'm stupid to not think it was her. I mean she asks me a question about making a homepage and then the next day mine is gone completely...looks suspicious to me! Anyway I am tired and I want to go cuddle with Alex! So I'm out..latta peeps!
~R~
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