In My Place
2006-01-04
my family is so wonderful...hahahah
Apparently I should be recieving a not so nice letter from the grandmother that I have only met 3 times in my life. LOVELY..yes this lady disapproves of my future marriage to Alex. This person who has met Alex one time about 5 years ago when we first started dating. I don't even know her. Yeah she is my grandmother..she lives on the west coast and she knits..that is all I know of this person. So what in the hell could she possibly have against a person she knows nothing about. Apparently my mom has been telling her things and she either didn't hear them correctly or my mother is saying things to her that aren't very nice. It is no secret that my mom does not like Alex. He knows it..he is the one who mentioned it to me. I didn't pick up on it until recently. I'm a clever one for sure!You want to know the big reason why my mom is upset..is it him cheating on me..nope because he has never and would never do that..is it him hitting me or abusing me in any manner..no because he has never and would never do that..is it his hatred and mistreatment of my son..no because that would never happen either..yes folks these would be proper reasons for me to not marry him..but not the actual reason that these folks list.. Here it is..they don't think he will be able to take care of me. Do you need to read that again..go ahead take your time. Now why on earth do I need a man to TAKE care of me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself..sure being a stay at home mom for the rest of my life would be great..but that is probably not going to be a possibility.. and I am fine with that. I don't need to have him be the major bread winner in the family.. I am more than willing to share that responsibility with him. I just wrote her back and said whatever Grandma had to say might upset me but I wasn't going to take her opinion to heart because she doesn't know either one of us and I could really care less what she thought..harsh..not in my opinion.
Anyway..I mentioned this whole mess to Alex and I really shouldn't have..I should have kept it to myself..but I have this thing where I think we should be honest and open with eachother..so yeah I shared it. He got upset and now doesn't think we are going to get married. See I shouldn't have shared.. this will all calm down I am sure.. especially since today I finally found a place for us to have our wedding ceremony..yeah I'm not getting stressed out for nothing over here dammit.. I don't know ever since that ring got put on my finger I have felt this enormous amount of stress.. I almost wish I didn't have it..now I said almost there.. I don't deal well with change and the stress of a wedding sure isn't helping either..so I know what my problem is..I just have to learn to deal with stress better..I need a punching bag..
Anyway..I just love how these two are trying to make me doubt my relationship with alex..this is exactly why I don't listen to other people..they are negative and look for things that will hurt people..If I didn't think we could make our marriage work..I would not have said yes to him.. yeah it will be hard sometimes..I am not naive about it.. but I am not going to give up and the fact that my mom has been married 4 times isn't making me want to listen to her "dating" advice anyway..hello 4 fucking times.. you shouldn't be handing out marriage advice..
ok..gotta go pick up Z from school and head to the pet store to buy some frogs.. yay..ok so not really yay..more like. ahhhh another freaking animal for me to take care of..fun
~Rachel |
