In My Place
2005-06-04
Mike G
I'm sad right now...I haven't cried.. but I am feeling really down. I was laying down watching tv when my best friend Alicia called and told me that one of our friends from high school had killed himself. I just saw him a couple of days ago when I was at the grocery store. He seemed happy..he was working.. he didn't seem sad to me. The horrible part is the way that he took his life. About 2 hours from where I live is one of the most popular places to base jump. The New River Gorge Bridge. I have always thought it was the most beautiful place..now it will only remind me of this sad day..here is a pic..New River Gorge Picture
That picture doesn't even show the severity of his decision picking that spot. That bridge is 876 feet above the water..it's the second highest bridge in this country. I hope that he somehow died of frieght and not actually felt any pain. There had to be some kind of significance for him choosing to end his life this way? Why would someone choose to go out of this life in such a horrific way? I don't even like to drive across that bridge..I wish someone could have seen him and stopped him. Let him know that there was help for him and that this wasn't the answer.
I'm at a loss for the appropriate words to write. I just don't understand what reasons there are to take your own life. I feel for his family, friends and for his son. They are the ones who will suffer the most from this tragic event.
In 2002 my cousin and sister in-law decided to take their own life. My sister in-law left behind two small children who barely remember her. The son doesn't at all because he was so young when she died. The daughter cries sometimes because she can't remember what her mom looked like. My cousin actually tried to untie the rope that was around his neck after realizing he wanted to continue living but was unable to do it. He wanted to live. Why couldn't the rope have just broken. WHY?
So once again I'm sad because another person felt that life wasn't worth living. I wish I would have talked to him when I saw him last. I thought about it..but I didn't. I haven't really talked to him since we were in school together, but does that really matter? It shouldn't. I wonder if he was lonely and just needed someone to listen. I wish he could have had someone in his life to turn to. What made him feel like this was his only solution? These questions can never be answered.
I just can't quit thinking about his son. How will he feel when he really finds out the reason his Father is no longer here. I'm sure he doesn't know the real reason at this moment. I feel sadness in my heart that he won't have his Father there for those important moments growing up. When he graduates, gets married, has a family.
Mike..wherever you are I hope that you have found the peace in death that you didn't have in life. I hope that you are looking down on your son and that you see the hurt that this will cause him and you will understand how this impacted his life. I hope that you will see the many people that this has touched and see how many people truly cared about you.
I will always remember you as the nice, sweet but extremely quiet guy who I sat next to in class. Rest in peace..
To those that read this..please do something special for someone today and do it in remembrance of Mike G.
~Rachel
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