In My Place

2003-07-12

I've reached the end of my rope dammit!

Well I would say that my little trip yesterday was fun and relaxing, but that would be a big fat lie! It started out bad as soon as we left Charleston. Alex started complaining about the car being too cramped with all of us. I can agree it was crowded. I was driving and Alex was up front with me. My Grandmother, Z and Alex's brother Gary were in the back. Well it's an hour and a half drive, so there was lot's of complaining. Then when we finally get there my Grandmother starts nagging and complaining. I took it about an hour, then I had to get out of the house. So Alex, Gary and I went into town and went shopping. It's a little town so we didn't have much to choose from.

We looked around and bought a few movies. I started saying we better go back to the house, because I knew she would be pissed if we were gone too long. It's so sad. I'm 26 years old, yet I get a guilt trip laid on me if I am gone too long. It's ridiculous! We did stop at those little 50 cent machines after we left the store. They had those funny fake teeth things. If you've ever seen them, you know how funny they look. They are all jacked up! Alex got a pair that had two big bucked teeth in the front..he looked so funny when he put them in. It was so fun driving home, Alex and Gary put in their teeth and were waving at everyone. Ah what childish fun it was!

Well we get back. I start the grill and begin preparing dinner. We were all getting along just enjoying being away and trying to relax. That ended around 10pm.

My Grandmother started bitching about the movie we were watching. It was Analyze That. She was pissed because it kept saying Fuck. I kept telling her it's just a movie and she doesn't need to get all upset. Well I guess she had heard enough of the movie and went to bed. We finished watching the movie and then headed to bed ourselves.

The next morning, Alex wakes up pretty early and heads upstairs. He comes back a little later to wake me up and I can hear my Grandmother complaining upstairs. My Grandmother had told everyone she was going to make biscuits and gravy for breakfast. It was close to 11 and Alex was hungry. So I yell upstairs and ask her what the problem was? No Answer. So I have to get up on the one day a week that I sleep in. So I obviously wasn't a happy camper. I get up there and she is cleaning. Why, I have no idea. The house was spotless. She is such a clean freak..it drives me insane! So I ask her why she isn't making the gravy and she starts yelling that she already ate some toast. So all I asked was why did she do that, if she told us that she was going to make breakfast? She starts telling me to make it myself. Now I'm not saying this was right or anything, but I was pissed. I said, "Well if I knew how to make gravy from scratch..don't you think I would make it myself?" So she starts making it while I make the biscuits. We all eat breakfast..yippee! I decided I wanted to take a shower and relax a bit before we were supposed to go horseback riding. I go downstairs to take a hot shower and when I get out to relax, my grandmother is down there making the beds. I tell her to go upstairs because I can make my own bed and there isn't a need for her to be cleaning up after everyone. Now I personally thought I was doing her a favor by cleaning up after everyone that slept downstairs. She starts crying. WHY? To make me feel guilty.. Why? Who in the hell knows. So I finish cleaning and then get ready so that Alex, Gary and I can go horseback riding. Well she decides that she wants to go too. Why? She wasn't going to be riding and we were going to get away from her. Well I didn't want to hear it so I just said whatever..we are leaving now. So we all get in the car and leave. We get to the stables and they are booked until 6. So we said fuck it and just went around the resort and looked at the arts and crafts and the lake and took a few pictures and came back to the house.

By the time we get back to the house, I am pissed because I'm tired and we didn't get to go horseback riding and I know that I am going to have to drive back home in a few hours. I've had no time to relax or even read a little bit of the book I had brought with me.

This is when the shit hit the fan. My Grandmother starts giving me dirty looks and starts complaining about not being able to relax and not being able to do what she wanted in her own house. This is when I had heard enough. I told her that she was the one running behind everyone and picking up. I told her she could have sat down and relaxed anytime she wanted. This is when she starts yelling about who knows what. I was about to pull out my hair at this point. I yelled that I was sick and tired of her nagging and yelling at me. I do everything for her, take her anywhere she wants to go and she had no right to take her anger out on me. Then she tells me that I treat Z like a dog. My jaw dropped. I was like, "WHAT are you talking about? That boy has everything he could ever need or want." I start packing the car at this point. I just want to go home and get away from her. Now I don't know how this happened, but she has more stuff going home with her then we brought up there. The one problem with going to the other house is that we have to take the trash home,because there isn't any kind of trash pickup there. So I told her we would have to leave the trash there, because there wasn't enough room in my car. She starts bitching again. I said, "Fuck it, we will just shove everything in there..let's go." So we all pile into the car. I am already agitated and she says something about the way I treat her.

Now this is when I feel like driving my car off the side of the mountain, just so she will shut up. I was at the end of my rope. It takes a lot for me to get there..but I was there. She is talking about how I don't do anything for her. I just yelled for about 2 miles about how she treats my Dad like he is some kind of saint. Yet he does nothing to help her and just handle her money, so that he can have it. I screamed as loud as I could.."He is 50 years old and you still pay his car insurance. He left me when I was little and never came to see me or send me a birthday card. He didn't even show up to my high school graduation." Of course then she has to say that the reason he didn't come is because I didn't put my stepmothers name on the Invitation. Well so fucking what. I hated her, I didn't want her there, so I didn't invite her. That is no excuse for my Dad not to show up. I will never forgive him for the way he treated me.

At that point I was crying and just wanted silence.

I didn't say another thing for the rest of the drive home. I took Gary home first and apologized for the yelling. He just told me that he knew why I did it and he understood. I was embarassed that my Grandmother had got me so mad. He just told me he would call us later and maybe come hang out. I told him bye and got back in the car.

The ride to my Grandmother's was great.. because there was complete silence. AHHH lovely. I get all of her stuff and take it in her house and just turn and walk away. I know at this point if she says anything..I would burst into tears. On one hand I felt bad for yelling, but on the other I was happy to get it all out and tell her how pissed I was that she thought it was ok to treat me like shit, but to kiss everyone else in the family's ass.

We just came home and unpacked and now I am just enjoying peace and quiet. Well the TV is on, but no bitching and complaining. It's so wonderful!

I hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend and I hope you have a great Sunday!

~Rachel