In My Place

2003-01-01

friendships and new years don't mix...

Well Hello and welcome to the new year...well I hope everyone is having a better new year than me...I thought that alex going through withdraw from methadone would ruin my night( by the way i am proud to say he is doing well!) but I can now thank my best friend (which i am not sure i consider her anymore)for that...lets see about 4 days ago i sent her an email cause i have tried to call her house for the past few days and she never answers...anyway i sent her an email saying instead of going out we should have a little get together at my house and i would cook a bunch of food and everything...and it would be fun..well she never wrote me back and she still didnt answer the phone any more when i called well she calls at like a little after midnight from her house to say happy new year...where she is sitting with other people drinking and having fun...but apparently i am not good enough for her to spend new years with...she is with her new best friend who she constantly complains that she can't even stand...well wow sure doesn't look that way to me... so i have just given up on her..she has done this before..how bout the last time i went out to a bar...about a month ago which was like the first time in 6 months that i had been in a bar and i had just went so i could hang out with her...and what does she do about 10 minutes after she got there and was talking to me this guy she knows comes in a they go up front to talk to this older couple that always hangs in the bar...so you know what i got tired of waiting for her to come back and talk to me so we left...this is my best friend who i put all this hard work into making her all these cd's for christmas with songs on em that i knew she would love and then spent a shit load of money on one sweater just for her...this is the person who i used to be able to talk about everything with.. the person I could share things with and feel confident that even if noone else liked me she did...well hell i must have been wrong about that one..but now i just feel lucky that i have a bf who got so upset that she had made me cry he was in tears...so FUCK YOU for making me feel bad....I am better off without you, than to feel like this! So on that note..HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! Hope you had a good one!

~Rachel