In My Place

2002-10-20

ulterior motives

wow oh wow another day has came...it is 6 in the morning and i have been waking up this early for the past couple of days...why...oh who knows why anything in this world happens? wow...i just made breakfast for alex..we got into an arguement last night...those are always fun! I feel bad cause he is a great boyfriend and I just feel like I am gonna screw it up somehow..we have been together for like almost 2 years and i don't want to break up...i think it all goes back to my worthless father and the fact that he was never around..I dont trust guys i feel like they have all these ulterior motives and I am still trying to figure out what alex's are...but what if he doesn't have any and I am just really overreacting..I know he loves me and I really love him! So why am does he think that in his words my love is fake..how can my love be fake when i love him more and trust him more than i have ever trusted or loved someone in my life!! ahhhh i just don't know what to say to him or do to prove my love...oh enough about this...i have to much to do today to dwell on it all day.

Rachel